Terms of Service
Please respect your neighbors, nature, and camp as if grandma's watching!
SPEED LIMIT: 5 MPH Should you feel possessed to go faster, the spike strips will automatically deploy at speeds in excess of 5.5 mph, so please be careful driving as your tires slowly deflate. The local Walmart does tire repair.
Quiet Hours: 10:00 p.m. - 8 a.m. Abuse it and our pet T-Rex will pay you a visit...he feeds at night and is drawn in by noise. It's for your own safety.
Children: No unattended children - unattended children will be fed candy and soda until picked up. Unattended spouses will be invited into the office for an Amazon shopping spree on our lightning-fast internet at their partner's expense.
Pets: No dogs off-leash - dogs caught off-leash or otherwise unattended will be captured and donated to the children's home down the road. When your pet poops, use poop bags to clean up after them. If you don't, we will put you on the next day's mandatory poop patrol squad where you WILL use them.
Firewood/Campfires: Campfires permitted, just not on our tables or concrete slabs...really! Be aware of local firewood restrictions and burn bans. We promise you’ll leave with no nasty infestations; you can do the same for us by using local firewood!
Campsites: Please leave them in the same condition you find them: clean and litter-free. Don't walk through your neighbor's campsite. If you do so without permission, watch out for the trip wires as they are not readily seen.
Vehicles: Each RV site is limited to one RV and two cars. Any more vehicles will be considered a party and the whole park will join in the fun at your expense! We've seen this happen!
Guests: Guests are allowed, but they must leave by 10 p.m. or pay the daily camping fee. Human sacrifices for the pet T-Rex (please see Quiet Hours section) begin promptly at 10:05 p.m. Your unregistered guests will go first should they decide to stay and not pay!
Smoking: Smoking is not permitted in any public buildings or in any of the common areas. Also, don't leave your cigarette butts on the ground. The bunnies come out at night and smoke them and we’ve been trying to get them to quit.
- Streaking (we reserve the right to take pictures and post them on our social media)
- Any and all "hold my beer statements" (this is the south, we have enough problems)
- Alcohol consumption by anyone under the age of 21 (self-explanatory) *PLEASE BE AWARE WE ARE IN A DRY COUNTY. YOU CANNOT BUY ALCOHOL HERE, SO PLEASE COME PREPARED IF THIS IS IMPORTANT TO YOU!*
- Washing dishes, clothes, pets, or dinosaurs in the bathhouse
- Washing cars or campers without prior approval
- Riding ATVs or dirt bikes inside the campground (golf carts permitted, but only cool ones with flames on them)
- Use of chainsaws or axes (especially on your neighbor's camper)
- Use of firearms, fireworks, bows & arrows, slingshots, airguns, BB guns, paintball guns, lightsabers, ray guns, or pointy fingers used as guns...this is not the set of Gunsmoke, and you are not James Arness!
Make sure to familiarize yourself with the park rules and regulations. We’ll have a quiz tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m. Bring a number 2 pencil.
ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK: Park not responsible for injury, theft, accidents, or your failed experiments!
WHILE THESE RULES ARE INTENDED TO BE TONGUE IN CHEEK AND FUN, THEY ARE REAL AND WE DO ASK FOR YOUR COOPERATION. BY ENTERING OUR PARK, YOU AGREE TO ABIDE BY THESE RULES AT ALL TIMES!
IF YOU DIDN'T CATCH IT, WE ARE IN A DRY COUNTY. THIS MEANS ALCOHOL CANNOT BE BOUGHT OR SOLD HERE. BYOB IF THAT'S YOUR SCENE.
NO REFUND IS GIVEN IF YOU ARE ASKED TO LEAVE THE CAMPGROUND DUE TO AN INABILITY TO FOLLOW THESE FEW SIMPLE RULES!